A Very JERSEY Labor Day!

What can I say about New Jersey that hasn’t already been said about Hell? The drive up to NJ from Arlington is estimated on Google Maps to take about 3 hrs and 45 mins. My land speed record came about back in June when I made the trip in 3 hours flat. But, this is Labor Day Weekend! Which means anyone who has a car decides to place it on I-95.

The drive took over 4 and a half. Thanks in much part to State governments that have continued to use the same toll system that was in place when the concept of roads was first developed. The worst part of the trip came at the Delaware Memorial Bridge. After considering Delaware’s size and total insignificance, the government decided to create the country’s best bottleneck. How can Joe Biden be the Vice-President if that backyard of a state he represents cannot be traversed within 15 minutes? This may be the issue that decides the election for me.

We arrived Friday night and relaxed by watching Predator on cable. A little trivia here, Predator may be the only movie that features two former Governors (Arnold and “the Body”). If this anomaly has occurred before, then it is definitely the only Sci-Fi, Invisible, Thermal Seeing, Dreadlocked Alien flick that features two former Governors.

On Saturday, we had plans to drink and go to Atlantic City. The weather held up and it turned out to be a great day. The day consisted of: drinking, Scrabble, bacon cheeseburger, Battleship, cheating, contemplation of Beer Ball, drinking, napping, Atlantic City, Cash for Gold, Bally’s, Johnny Rocket’s, Beach Bar, Gambling, Lori wins more $, Jersey Rats, Drinking, Sleeping. All in all, a good day.

Sunday was beach day. On a related note, we found out that morning that the Ocean City beach was one of 7 lucky beaches that closed due to MEDICAL WASTE! In the world of NJ Beaches, this is a most prestigious honor. Tiny beaches on ponds in the middle of NJ dream of growing up one day to be covered in syringes, diapers, loud Jersey girls and Juice Heads.

The waste warning was dropped Sunday and we headed to the beach. We need to smuggle rum onto the beach because Ocean City is a dry town. While this seems crappy, it is actually a blessing in disguise. No alcohol = No Jersey Girls and Guidos…which makes for a great day at the beach. In Ocean City, people don’t have “blow-outs” or tribal tattoos. These people actually HAVE chest hair and sunglasses that block sunlight. Amazing. This dry town plays a major part in my positive experiences in New Jersey.

The water was a perfect temperature and the waves were big. With the exception of cringing each time something grazed my feet, the ocean was great. The way I see it, the medical waste just gives the NJ beaches character.

As much as I like to think of Jersey as the armpit of the East coast, I have to admit it holds a special, medically wasteful spot in my heart.