Awful

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story stars John C. Reilly (oscar-nom for Chicago) and is directed by Jake Kasdan (Orange County - awesome!). The movie was also obviously written in crayon by Judd Apatow's kids.

I give this 2 Goobers (out of 10).

This movie was terrible. It reminded me of movies like "Not Another Teen Movie" & "Scary Movie 2". Judd Apatow's (40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Freaks & Geeks) golden touch may finally be gone. It reminded me of Talladega Nights...after Will Ferrell had come off a string of "Old School" & "Anchorman". This movie was just BAD. A handful of high school kids got up and walked out about an hour in and I regret not following suit.

One somewhat bright spot was the lead actor. John C. Reilly is a very talented actor and a decent singer as well. Unfortunately, he was stuck with a terrible script and a movie that dragged like a dead body. Walk Hard attempted to parody "Walk the Line" and also the general history of rock & roll, but where some parodies work...this one falls flat. The movie drags at the beginning and end, the middle is where Apatow could have been very creative...however he chose to rush through 30-odd years of history and not focus on any single part. Another puzzle piece this movie lacked was jokes, the comedy was so uninspired and dug for the lowest levels of humor. I hope Apatow can rebound from this.

Aside from the talented Reilly, the other bright spot in the movie was the all-star group that imitated the Beatles. Shown above, Jack Black was Paul, Paul Rudd was John, Justin Long played George and Jason Schwartzman played Ringo. Oh yeah, Jack White plays Elvis...awesome!

Furthermore, Jenna Fischer (the (American) Office, Blades of Glory) has now been a part of two horrible comedy "epics" that promised too much. She is not a talented comedian and not much of an actress either... she should have been replaced...her role as boring Pam is what she should stick to.

Anyway, I plan on never watching this movie again...not in the theater, on DVD, on cable or even on network television. If I can get through the rest of my life without catching 5 minutes of this movie I will be happy.

The movie did make me want to listen to George Harrison's All Things Must Pass...so that's something.

Don't Be a Dick - Vol. 1

This is going to become an ongoing post of everday etiquette...

I just came back from lunch and held the door for a GOOD six seconds...dude just looks at me, like I SHOULD be holding the door. Instant regret on my part and this leads me to a new repeating column.

Volume 1 - Holding the Door

Don't be a dick...hold the door when someone is walking behind you. If you are the one walking through a simple "Thank You" is necessary.

Guidelines...

-The door should be held for any distance under five seconds. Anything over is at the discretion of the holder. Any door held over five seconds definately deserves a hearty "Thanks."

-If the door is held in a distance under one and a half seconds, the "thank you" is not required, but always acceptable.

-The door should also be held more often in inclement weather (cold, snow, wind, rain, etc.).

-Allowing other people through and also allowing women, children, and old people earns bonus points

Flying Reminds Me of Another "F" Word

In the last year, I have taken trips (small and large) more often than I have in my entire life. Lucky for me the airline industry moves as smoothly as an anchor covered in sand paper. I can't stand flying anymore. It's not the actual flying, but all the things in between. This ranges from flight connections, dealing with any flight attendant, the wonderful food, watching "No Reservations" twice in four days, sitting in space that would be inhumane to death row inmates and of course the babies...everywhere!

So, with my flight I was delayed 2 hours in Chicago's O'hare airport. I am tired of hearing, "that's the way it is now." I don't buy that. The airlines, like everything else, is a product. If I kept getting hair in my Chicken Nuggets at Wendy's I would STOP going. The problem is there is no other form of transportation that compares and the US government is still feeding airlines like Delta and American subsidies. The money needs to be cut off, they need to struggle and make changes, that's what good businesses do. This will ultimately benefit the consumer and that is what is important. Just as important as those tiny little pretzels they hand out on a four hour flight.

More to come SOON!

Hey everybody... (Hose)! There will be more to come in the next week or so as I have some extra time from the X-Mas vacation...potential topics include...





1. My Boycott of the Airlines

2. Christmas in Kansas City

3. Delicious BBQ in K.C.

4. My trip to L.A. to see Lori and possible grad school options?



Stay tuned! I hit 100!

The reason I have been listening to so much rap.

Look at the hit count...almost at 30!!!

Anyway, I realized early this morning why for the last 2 months I have been listening to solely hip-hop music. It has to do with a cognitive block from all my favorite college radio. I can no longer listen to bands such as: Death Cab, Postal Service, the Flaming Lips, Guster, and every other student alt-rock band I used to. The reasoning for this is the very real memories that these songs conjure up. As I listened to Death Cab this morning at work all I could think of was banging out 5 pagers at 2 am, looking forward all week to a wonderful Wed. Night in CollegeTown with Group Therapy, Zach at Dino's, Mama T's Pizza and finding out way too late how great Ruloff's and CollegeTown bagels are. This music also makes me remember all of the wonderful friends I found at IC and how easily I could spend time with any of you, at any time, because everyone was within 2 square miles.

I have yet to really miss Ithaca. Moving down to VA, doing the job hunt, and now working has kept me pretty busy. But, now as I have to boycott about 10 gigs on my iPod, I realize that Georgetown will never be Collegetown and Dupont Circle will never be the Commons, and everyone I meet will be wonderful, but we will not share that common bond of college for those four incredible years.

So, in conclusion, no more Death Cab. No more college radio. Maybe I will do grad school at Cornell.

* Hey check out my ghetto creative MS Paint job. Nice? I will have to develop my artistic skills in future posts.

Almost a Victim of GANG VIOLENCE

Sooo, I had my mother and sister come for a visit to wonderful VA prior to the Thanksgiving break. I wanted them to come up because I will not be visiting family this Turkey Day, instead I will be witnessing the eternal bond that David McAlpin and Katie Bowen will form(and get really drunk off open bar at the wedding).

Anyway, my mom was leaving this past Monday and to finish off a fun weekend we decided to see Lars and the Real Girl (good movie for a date). The walk from the hotel to the theater is a short walk in a populated area of Ballston, VA.

However, the route we took had only a group of three drunk guys and no other human beings. I noticed these three instantly and made sure to walk with heightened seneses. As my mother and I veered right, one of the drunk punks decided to get in our way and stare me down.

Now, I have had my share of drunken nights and confrontations, but there is a difference between college guys running their mouths and what I witnessed on Sunday night. This guy was well into his late 20s and had a different look in his eye. He also could have cared less that I was with my little mother. He was a disrespectful punk but I was hoping nothing serious would occur.

Fortunately, nothing did occur. We enjoyed the movie and the weekend overall.

The next night I had a hard time missing the HUGE action between the two juggernauts on MNF (Seattle and San Fran). I flipped on the History channel and they were in the middle of the series "Gangland". This mini-series deals with the major gangs across the U.S. including the Aryan Brotherhood and MS-13. The latter, is a major El Salvadorian gang that has a large population in NORTHERN VIRGINIA! Yes, the most affluent county in the U.S. is home to a gang that enjoys carrying machetes, stabbing victims 13 times, and using their bodies as an Etch-a-Sketch. I instantly freaked out and jumped to the highest conclusions. Please take a minute to research this NoVA gang and realize how weird I feel when I stumble home on the weekends.

*In other news, I broke the 20 viewers mark! Ya! Of course I still believe that Hose-Man is my only regular viewer

*This column also makes me reflect on what a great song "I'm So Hood" by DJ Khaled is.

American Gangster

American Gangster was directed by Ridley Scott (Gladiator,Black Hawk Down) and stars Denzel Washington (see Fallen) and Russell Crowe (see Mystery,Alaska). The movie ran about 2hrs40mins but I seldom felt the length.

The movie receives 9.0/10.0 Goobers, in my opinion.

I had fairly high expectations going into the movie. You know you will get a quality movie from the Scott brothers record: both recently (Domino & Man on Fire) to their stellar past (Crimson Tide, Gladiator, Top Gun). Gangster, did not disappoint. Washington plays a perfect dramatic foil to Crowe and vice-versa. The character development of both actors is superb with the exception of Denzel's family ties.

The plot of the movie stays on course and develops fully with an interesting ending. The violence, historical context, & political undertones are all used carefully and do not overwhelm the viewer. I also thought the supporting cast did a good job. The movie looked like a BET music video with Common & T.I. (pre-prison). But, Chiwetel Ejiofor is developing into a great actor.

My own personal "wow factor" is the sole reason that Gangster did not receive that sought-after 10th Goober. This is an irrational, incalculable feeling that I generally receive at the beginning of the end credits. I have to say that I hardly receive this feeling, the only two instances I can remember at this time came from Guy Ritchie's Snatch and Mel Gibson's Braveheart.

*Don Cheadle was considered for the role of Frank Lucas

*Brad Pitt and Benecio de Toro were in line to play Richie Roberts

So, I would definately recommend this movie to ALL of my readers...so, Dan go see this movie.

Delicious Late Night Food

I recently spent a weekend back in Western NY for a number of reasons including a bachelor party and a Bills football game. It was good to be back in WNY and I definately could sense a difference from my new residence in Virginia. I always consider the Buffalo/Niagara region as pergatory, the bland world stuck between Heaven(Toronto) and Guaranteed Hell(Rochester). There is just something about the people, the weather, the city and even the culture that is unqiue to the region. It could have been the blue-collar atmosphere, the powerlines...everywhere,maybe the Zubaz "zebra-striped" pants from 1990 that you can still spot today in the parking lot of Rich Stadium, or the delicious food like Jim's Steakout. I am not sure what it was but something about WNY will always feel like home.

The weekend included great hospitality from Hose-man and Billy Pops, an ill-fated choice in movies with a day-time trip to Dan in Real Life (review pending), and a nice little trip up to the 2nd best strip club in the Northeast, The Sundowner (1st place obviously being awarded to Kuma's of Ithaca).

*Interesting thought of the trip: As I sat in the first row of the airplane between Philadelphia and D.C. I got a sneak peek of the actual cabin of an airliner. While most of it looked like a series of complex knobs, levers and gauges, one piece of the cabin left me unsettled. Towards the base of the cockpit was a giant red binder marked, "Quick Reference Guide". This upset me for two reasons:

1. Quick Reference Guides should be used for all those kids from Schroeder who dropped out and needed "quick tips" on building that perfect Double Whopper.


2. The guide itself looked old. I mean it looked like it was written and published right between the 1st flight at Kittyhawk and 1895. If you MUST have a "Idiot's Guide to Flying a Commercial Airline" you would hope they would update it annually.

Hi Everybody!

This is my first post on a new blog that I have decided to start with inspiration from the "Hose-Man." I will utilize this blog to do a number of things: review movies, product testing, general thoughts, and whatever other topics I can think of. I know many people believe that blogs are for ego-maniacs...I hope that is not what is happening here. The other source of my inspiration for this blog was Jason Simoni, who owns the blog "SimoniSays" on this same website. This first post is quite boring...but stay tuned.