Heat vs. Public Enemies

So, what's the difference? Why is one an iconic heist thriller? Literally the movie that MADE crime drama...and the other a shallow, weak portrait of a 1930's crime icon?

What makes Heat different from Public Enemies?

1. Fictional vs. Non-Fictional Script - Michael Mann did not have to worry about explaining the story of Neil McCauley (De Niro) and Vincent Hanna (Pacino). It is easy to realize who these people are, a career criminal and a determined detective. Their background/upbringing is not relevant.

John Dillinger's (Depp) background is relevant. How did Dillinger come to be the man he is? The only background we receive is Dillinger's ancedote of "I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars... and you. What else you need to know? ". This is not nearly enough backstory for a 2 hour and 20 minute movie and one of America's most famous criminals.

2. Timeline - With Heat, Mann did not have to worry about acccuracy of dates. He weaves a storyline over a course of months in the case of Heat. Between the opening heist, the final heist and the climatic final scene. The story was what he told. The audience did not have to search for dates, question the timeline or even accept the "period" of the film.

3. Cinematography - Mann is an artist behind the camera. He knows how to capture light, portray a scene, allow a moment to resonate and properly frame a picture. But in Heat he was able to illuminate the entire city of Los Angeles (a strength he reinforced with Collateral). In Public Enemies, he has no singular location to embolden. The problem is lack of authenticity in the location. No single setting is completely "depression era", therefore Mann could not full develop any of his locations.

4. Cast - I love Johnny Depp. I really love Christian Bale. Marion Cotillard wasn't bad. The rest of the cast was alright and it was great to see the corpse of Stephen Dorff have a small role. Mann also used some of his usual suspects. But Heat? Does it get better than De Niro and Pacino? You were getting the classic INSANE Pacino, where he realized he was no longer the top dog actor, but could steal a scene by yelling and saying crazy things like,

"Cause she's got a great ass... and you got your head all the way up it! Ferocious, aren't I? When I think of asses, a woman's ass, something comes out of me."

It doesn't get any better than that. See for yourself.



You also have Jonny Voight dressed up like a cowboy with his handlebar mustache, Hank Azaria in an un-funny role, President effing Palmer, young Natalie Portman, Tom Sizemore during his smack/crack/meth addict days, Ashley Judd looking as fine as she ever has or ever will (similar to Cameron Diaz's moment of perfection in The Mask), and VAL KILMER! KILMER! KILMER! OH MY GOD...Iceman! The real Val Kilmer before he ate his way out of "cool" roles and into funny, portly gentlemen (see: Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang). Kilmer is a stud in this movie with his sweet long hair and, in the words of Robert Miller, a "killer bod". When he snipes the guys in the abandoned drive-in movie I almost cried with joy. Bale does win the battle of the Batman though, Kilmer's Batman debuted the same year as Heat, 1995.

I am sorry Ed Scissorhands/Batman, but the best cast stands with HEAT.

5. Finale - You can't match the 30 minutes of Heat. Not possible. Just like the way Orson Welles blew his load on Citizen Kane, it is possible Mann ruined the "crime-drama" genre with his work on Heat.

Heat was EPIC. Public Enemies had the tall task of living up to these lofty expectations. No dice. Michael Mann has a joyous burden that will probably never go away. Mann is again constrained by history, he needed to portray *SPOILER* the death of Dillinger frame for frame. However, Mann did not need to spend so much time developing the ending, it was very anti-climatic. It was also not consistent with the high-speed action of the entire movie. I understand that he wanted to emphasize the finale, but the lack of character development left for a hollow scene.

Mann Oh Man!

Michael Mann lets me down again. This is two in a row. The worst part? Mann can't pawn the awfulness of this film off on Colin Farrell.

5 Goobers for Public Enemies

Upcoming Attractions

These are the upcoming movies that I am getting pumped about:


Public Enemies - This is by far my most anticipated of the summer. It puts together three things I could never get enough of Michael Mann (Heat, Collateral, Last of the Mohicans), Christian Bale (TV's Mary,Mother of Jesus, the voice of Thomas in Disney's Pocahontas) and Johnny Depp (Cry Baby, 21 Jump Street). Putting these three together in a movie should be the cinematic equivalent of solving cold fusion.

I am also a big fan of period pieces that actually try to stay true to form. This will not be a Knight's Tale. Mann shot much of the film in parts of Wisconsin that still have a Depression-era feel.

The female lead is Marion Cotillard, from La Vie En Rose, she should add to the film. Giovanni Ribisi is also in the film and I love everything he does, even his role on Friends, hopefully he expands past his type-casting of "slow person" for this role.

I am a bit concerned,however, due to Mike Mann's last movie, Miami Vice, not sure if I blogged about how horrible this film was. Or about my eternal disappointment of Colin Farrell. Either way, while Mann has created Heat, Last of the Mohicans and the Insider. He allowed the ugly, red-headed stepchild of Miami Vice, out of the basement. I will cringe until I am actually in that movie seat.

Public Enemies is set to be released on July 1st.

Bruno- I really liked Borat. I know that Sacha Baron Cohen is definitely a hit or miss type comedian with most fans, but I think that while his movies are outrageous, he is able to show how absurd some Americans are in real life. Released July 10th.


Inglorious Basterds - Quinten Tarintino's WWII flick. Starting Brad Pitt and Ryan "The Temp" from the Office. I always like Tarintino's stuff so I am expecting the same here. Of course, like everything from the past decade, this is a "re-imagination" of a 70's film that will get absolutely no credit. Debuts August 21st.


There will be more movies to discuss, but this is a short list to start with.

Star Trek

Star Trek was really good. I recommend seeing it in theaters. I give it 7.5 Goobers. Great summer action film. The cast worked out well. The story line was entertaining. Go see it.

25 Years Later...

Now, for the second installment of my 3-part Summer Blockbuster Analysis. Today we will be looking at Terminator Salvation. While I can’t say that I liked the movie that much, I can say it was better than the critical beat down it suffered at the hands of journalists and bloggers. The first I heard of the new Terminator movie was at some point two years ago, probably during a theatrical trailer prior to The Dark Knight. I was initially very skeptical about the project, but kept an open-mind.

Pros:
- Sam Worthington, an Australian actor plays the role of Marcus Wright, who is a human turned cyborg. Go figure he was recommended for the role by James Cameron, the visionary who created the first two Terminator movies. We also share a birthday. Look for his next big role in Cameron’s Avatar
- Nice surprise pseudo-cameo towards the end of the film, that’s all I will say
- Moon Bloodgood is gorgeous
- As always, I get way too excited by trailers, especially this one that features NIN: Deceptive!
- Bale digs deep into roles and the added aggression led to his "freak out" on the Director of Photography...which led to the Youtube Dance Remix

Purgatory:
- Ron Howard’s daughter was neither good, nor bad. Just there.

Cons:
- Weak story. The action scenes did not justify a poor plot.
- Bailing on the R rating for $$$.
- Christian Bale mails in his performance, he blends a little Batman voice, with a bit of weight loss and zero emotion. Very disappointing from one of my favorite actors.
- The story did not utilize some of themes from the original Terminator, the movie did not really highlight on the “chase” aspect of the first two and was also void of humor. Humor plays a critical role to the success of the first two films.
- McG did not do much to enhance the quality of this film, he should go back to directing music videos for Korn

After watching this, I made sure to make it up to my eyes/brain/ears by viewing both Terminator & T2. These two films were created in ’84 and ’91, respectively. It was just a disappointment to think of the 25 years that have passed since the original and this is what McG and co. produce. The original Terminator had sooooo much vision and creativity. This film, similar to T3, was destined to fail due to unrealistic expectations. It reminded me of a darker version of Transformers.

Overall: Wait for Redbox/Netflix…or as a cure for Insomnia in 4 years when it is on Spike TV in the 1am to 3am spot.
Alternative: The third installment will give you one alternative. Another is to rent one of the first two Terminator films, make sure to check for the James Cameron seal of approval.

Terminator Salvation
“The End Begins.”
Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Other People…including annoying Michael Cera knock-off Anton Yelchin
Directed by McG
Written by John Brancato and Michael Ferris (Catwoman & Primeval…should have known…to be fair they did write The Game)
Run time: 115 mins
Shot in: New Mexico

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0438488/
terminatorsalvation.warnerbros.com



5 Goobers. Uninspired.

IXNAY on the XMEN

The movie would have benefited from this actual cat compared to Hugh Jackman.

Well, well, well, I have been forced to come back to the blog due to recent business decisions at my employer. Let’s see, since my last post I have seen quite a few flicks. We have passed through the post-Xmas dead zone and hit the cusp of the summer blockbusters (everyone ready for Michael Bay to explode something(s)?). I can’t really recall what movies I have seen in the past five months to give a solid rating, so I will proceed to what I have seen lately.

3 summer blockbuster/action/extreme/space/robot/metal/blood/death/babes/movies of the past three weeks:

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

This movie was god-awful. I am confident that the script was crafted around fight scenes and then they connected each with childlike dialogue to transition to the next person Wolverine would slice with his claws. Really gripping stuff. I am not even going to venture into the historical inaccuracies or the reason why a Canadian MANimal would decide to fight in every war relevant to America’s interests.

Supporting cast?

- Ryan Reynolds was used sparingly, he was supposed to be DeadPool, but of course Marvel F’s that character up in the end

- Dude from Friday Night Lights, did he have a Cajun accent? Or was that his attempt at a Cajun accent?

- Will.I.Am – this should be your first warning sign

- Liev Schreiber – Seriously? As Sabertooth? This guy? I bet Live is an actor that is really “respected” by other actors, which means he takes things seriously and would never subject himself to….oh wait, how about 3 does of Scream and an undersized man/cat with oversized fingernails.

- Additional support hacks

I just don’t understand how they could take the franchise character and destroy it. The first X-Men movie was very good, the second was an admirable sequel, the third was directed by Brett Ratner…of Rush Hour fame. So I can say that it was on par with the stylistic action/comedy of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. With memorable quotes such as "Logan: Way to go, Furball. " Are you kidding me? Anyway, there are many more reasons I hated this movie, but I can’t think of them. The etch-a-sketch this is my brain has been successfully turned over and shook.

Let’s give it 2 goobers.

Holiday Movie Madness

Jonah Takalua: Puck you, Miss.

Over the break, I saw a large amount of television and movies. Here is a quick run-down:



Movies:

- Role Models - More Apatow, Stifler being Stifler, Paul Rudd goodness, overall OK, about 5 Goobers.

- Ben Button - Pretty good, very long, touches on life and death very "frankly", I was pleased with the outcome...7 Goobers

- Valkyrie - Labeled as a "thriller", however it is hard to maintain a tense atmosphere when the viewer is aware of the outcome, I had a bit of a pity feeling of pressure for Tom "central tooth" Cruise...also can we see something OTHER than a WWII war movie? Please? 6 Goobers

DVDs:

- The Strangers...really creepy at moments, overall fails just as every other horror flick does, Liv Tyler is terrible

TV:

- Summer Heights High - GENIUS! Chris Lilley has studied at the Gervais School of Comedy

- Some Curb - Love Larry David

- HBO's 4-part series, 'House of Saddam', pretty interesting, pretty awesome, worth the four hours


If I had to recommend just one thing from the list...it would be Summer Heights High. I need to get HBO.

DVD Review: The Dark Knight (not Blu-Ray)

This blog was not operational during the premiere of "The Dark Knight." If it was, I would definitely have posted about it. Either way, as I drunkenly watch the DVD, I decided to do my first DVD review.

This movie was boss. As a follow-up to "Batman Begins," the sequel does everything it needs to. First, it is much bigger. Shot in IMAX, more action, clearer fight scenes, bigger villans. Second, the dramatic foil does an OUTSTANDING job, I know that it is the politically correct thing to pull for Heath Ledger for the supporting actor, but I have to.

Heath Ledger was perfect. First of all, he did the Joker his own way, he did not reprise Jack Nicholson's role, he did not copy anything from the comics. Ledger was able to channel the feelings/actions of the Joker. It is uncanny. After watching the movie with a roommate, he stated it perfectly, he does not see Heath Ledger in the role. He did not SEE Ledger, he did not HEAR Ledger. After watching Ledger in "Brokeback Mountain," he made a complete departure to become an insane clown. There is no way I can express my love for this character. I loved what Nicholson did for the Joker, but Ledger captured the character in a current mold. He is a terrorist, psychocatic and a bit of an addict (notice how often he licks his lips).

There were a lot of complaints of Christian Bale's acting. First of all, that is going to happen after seeing how well Ledger portrayed the villan. Also, Bale has nothing to prove after excelling in the original. The director, Christopher Nolan, had the foresight to cast Bale. He saw that Bale could 'fake' the wealthy executive in "American Psycho", Bale portrayal of Bruce Wayne brings a smile to the viewer's face. His Batman voice is a bit comical, but this is a movie based on a comic, lay off.

One of my criticisms of the movie is the way that Nolan rushed Aaron Eckhardt's role. He develops his character in the correct way, but unleashes him too early. Also, the fight scenes are a bit slower, I was one of the few fans that enjoyed the rushed fight scenes. It left an air of mystery. Nolan undoubtedly caved into critics with this display.

The story is just as strong as the first. I also pray that they continue the franchise. It is a bit depressing that Bale will no longer be able to battle Ledger in the future.

As a DVD, the movie really let me down. There is no director's commentary, no deleted scenes. Just some crap on the "Gotham News Network". Pretty shitty stuff. I think they pulled out all the stops for the Blu-Ray verison. Which is just another reason thrown on the giant pile for why I need a new DVD player. If you would like to donate to my cause....please leave a comment. Thanks!

Ledger disappeared into this character, that is the only way to explain it.

OZ

No, not the HBO prison drama that revolved around shanking and shower rapes.  This OZ regards Australia the epic adventure from the wonderful, yet rare Baz Luhrmann (who happens to be an Aussie). 

Australia runs a bit long at 2 hours and 45 mintues, but manages to bring it all together in the end.  It stars Nicole Kidman, Hugh (HUGE) Jackman and a young, talented newcomer, Brandon Walters.

Jackman is without a doubt, in Wolverine shape for this movie.  You can also pick out the 'pre' and 'post' pregnancy scenes of Kidman very easily.

This movie stays true to the EPIC formula:

'A' List Cast + Brillant newcomer + wide-shot cinematography + incredible landscapes + action + adventure + accents + love + sex + friendship + war + explosions + evil dramatic foil + a little comedy + kangaroos = 

EPIC

The government of Australia poured a lot of funding into this picture and are banking on it to save their tourism in a global recession.  The movie ends with a soaring helicopter shot that canvasses a large part of the Outback.  I am sure that was contractually bound to the funding.  Unfortunately the movie has only grossed $20 million dollars.  It also received mixed reviews from critics.

I am going to give this movie 7 goobers.  

It is definitely the best movie I have seen in a while (along with 4 Christmases).  I have been on quite the dry streak with flicks and this pulled me out. 

It was not the best epic I have seen, but there is something unique about Luhrmann's films, especially since he has only directed four.  Luhrmann makes great 'movies' in the traditional sense of the word.  He makes captivating pictures that are made for the big screen.  These are fun movies, but also quality movies.  

The cinematography was perfect, the acting was above average, the plot was a bit meandering, but like I said, finished strong.  

Excuse the rust, I have not blogged in quite sometime.  

IMDB

Rottentomatoes

Shame and Condemnation

Ed Norton consoles Colin Farrell as he comes to the realization that he is a terrible actor that has gotten by on looks and an irish accent for too long. Unfortunately, no one was there to console Ed Norton for doing this awful movie...hopefully he does not get angry, you would like him when he's angry

I don' think I can continue to blog about movies. Since I began, the majority of the movies I have seen have been crap. I feel like anyone (Dan) who reads this site will just think I hate movies. When in fact, I love movies. I really love movies.

However, I can't start with this review. Pride & Glory sucked. Ed Norton, what are you doing? This is not your movie, this should have gone to someone like Mark Wahlberg or Paul Walker right after finishing Fast and Furious. First, the Incredible Hulk (I have not yet seen) and now this? Come on man, get back in the game.

Colin, Colin, Colin...I keep pulling for you man and you keep letting me down. You are like that friend who is great to be around, great to party but don't leave him in the room with your girlfriend or expect him to come over on a Saturday afternoon to help you move. Won't happen, but you will let it slide because he is so much fun to be around that Saturday night. What's the deal?

Ok, so In Bruges was really good. Not great, but really good. For you Colin, that means it was F'n FANTASTIC. I need you to pick scripts like that. Not scripts that have you get the wrinkles out of new born babies (if you have seen this movie you know what I mean).

Do not see this movie. It is everything that is wrong with a cop drama, I could gather a class of 4th graders to write a better, more realistic plot.

Hopefully these people are not paid to do this. This critic cited the "gritty realism" that made this movie a "B" in her mind. Yeah, I guess it was gritty realism, if you replace "gritty" with "terrible" and "realism" with "blatant out-dated stereotypes". Then that would work.

My favorite scene was the climatic bare-knuckle brawl between two Irish NYPD in an American "Irish" pub. Cue the Riverdance music!

This movie gets ONE GOOBER. Do not see this movie. Only if it is on FX in seven years and it is a Wednesday afternoon and raining outside.

FOR A MUCH BETTER REVIEW: GO HERE

F OPEC

The last couple months have been unprecedented in my young life. The global markets have taken up BASE jumping, Wall Street has been downgraded to a Lane and Washington is now telling everyone to "grab an umbrella" because the Fed has a "handful of stacks" and is "making it rain" on Wall Lane, the world and Americans alike.

Things do not look good. But, there are a few small benefits. For one, OIL found out that people can take the bus. Not good for Daniel-Day Lewis, he is pissed. So are these guys.



OPEC is definitely not happy with the drop in global demand for oil. They convened today for an emergency meeting. There plan is to cut production.

"The decision was straightforward," Saudi Oil Minister Ali al-Naimi said after the meeting.

"OPEC will do whatever is necessary to balance oil markets."

This is what they said. They need to balance the oil market. I have to admit, they did a great job of balancing the markets over the past year, when it came close to $150 a barrel in the middle of the 2008 summer. I am really glad they were looking out everyone. But now they want to manipulate the price to have it go back up. This is a real dick move. Lower oil/gas prices help consumer purchasing power, which is an essential correction for a recession. OPEC does not care about a global recession. This is what is wrong.

The fact is OPEC is a cartel, that acts like a cartel. There really is no surprise there.

Just as the lower price of oil is a silver lining to the current economic clusterfuck, (I think we have moved past "crisis" at this point) the former high oil/gas prices did make Americans and the rest of the world finally wake up and realize that we need to stop filling our snowmobiles with jet-fuel in July. It also finally displayed the importance of alternative energies...both candidates are behind it now.

Hopefully this guy learned his lesson from prices in July.

Balance is the name of the game. Balance in the economy, among compaines, among countries and individuals. Not too little, but not too much. I believe that Americans may have learned a valuable lesson from the last few months, not to be so greedy. We need to pass this along to OPEC.

Listen to Matt Nathanson

Last night I headed over to Sixth & I for a concert. The concert was held in a historic synagogue. Which translated to no beer. If this had been a concert for Yanni or the Blue Man group, I would have freaked out at this prohibition...fortunately it was for a folk/rock guitarist named Matt Nathanson.

For those of you who do not know him, Nathanson is a very talented singer/songwriter. As much as I like his music, his real forte comes in the form of live shows. Nathanson is hilarious, he frequently banters about sex, heavy metal and his favorite shows like Gossip Girl. Considering the amount of cursing and graphic imagery at past shows, I was curious to see how Nathanson would handle being in such a holy place. He did not fail me, as he arrived on stage he observed that we were in a "fuckin' synagogue". That was only the beginning.

Ok, I am not going to give a full re-cap of the night. Know this, Nathanson is talented, hilarious and in touch with his audience. He also keeps ticket prices low. He is currently on a Fall tour and could very well be on his way to your city.

I wholeheartedly endorse Matt Nathanson. I am not one to do this regularly, but I promise you will get your money's worth.

Miracle at St. Anna

Spike Lee seen begging Denzel Washington to be in his crappy movie. Denzel laughs in Spike's face and reminds him he does GOOD movies.

Oh man, this movie sucked. This was obviously Spike's big-screen tribute to the NY Knicks. He really wanted to capture the "suck" aspect.

The story sucked. The cinematography sucked. The 160 minutes it took sucked. Complete waste of my time and anyone who is thinking of seeing it.

Spike needs to stay away from this genre. Spike also needs to take a dose of his own medicine. The stereotypes he creates in this awful movie are the same he complains about all the time. He also stepped on the toes of WWII Italian partisans.He also needs to get an actual screenwriter, not the egotistical author.

I am going to give it 1 Goober.

The 'miracle' was that I sat through the entire movie.

Burn After Reading

Burn After Reading was good. The Coen Bros. have created such masterpieces in their career that each movie they make will be held to a higher standard. That is why this movie is only good. Hell, if Michael Bay directed this movie I would have given it 10 Goobers...but I am not sure how he would have snuck in an explosion or two.

Clooney copied himself from Intolerable Cruelty...but since no one saw that movie it will seem like a fresh, unique character. Clooney wins again! Ah!

I love J.K. Simmons. He is hilarious.

Overall, you should see this movie. Why not? I will give it Six Goobers.

I would just like to point out that the Coens can do comedy better than most...and they can do drama better than anyone. They are a rare breed in Hollywood.

Transsiberian

I was too lazy to MS Paint in some explosions.

If Michael Bay got his inartistic hands on 'Transsiberian', the title would have been changed to 'Train of DEATH! Explode!' and he would have added quite a bit of C4 charges and a dash of Nick Cage.

Fortunately, that didn't happen.

I forgot what my Goobers rating scale was, but I give this movie: 6.5 Goobers (out of ten)


The film is directed by Brad Anderson and stars Woodrow Harrelson, Emily Mortimer, Kate Mara and Sir Ben Kingsley. It also runs a little long at 111 minutes.

The movie is basically a murder mystery/suspense thriller. Similar to writer/director Anderson's previous full-length suspense flick El Maquinista (featuring Christian 'bag of bones' Bale). In 'Transsiberian', Anderson moves away from copying Alfred Hitchcock and places his own personal touch on this film. While Anderson has done other genres, such as comedy, this will likely be his forte with future projects.

The acting was solid. Woodrow plays the lovable/naive/idiot/religious/friendly husband role with a pathetic admiration for trains. Mortimer plays the 'wild child converted into boring wife because she was nervous of dying from overdose or some sexually transmitted disease.' Instead of building up this sorted past through subtle dialouge, Anderson throws it in the viewer's face with shots of a 'tramp stamp', defiant smoking and other blatant symbols that shouts out to the audience, "I used to be cool, until I met Woodrow." Mortimer also goes to GREAT LENGTHS to preserve a web of lies. Which makes me really hate her character.

Kate Mara provides for pleasant scenery, not much else...except for one alarming scene towards the end that reminds me of the deli at the Italian Store.

Ben Kingsley is great, he does not have the ability to be anything else.

The movie moves from the 'this could happen to you' genre to borderline preposterous, even for Vladimir Putin's Russia.

This movie will fly under the radar of most major cinemas. I definitely recommend seeing it, however you may want to wait for either a matinée or the DVD release.



TRAILER

A Very JERSEY Labor Day!

What can I say about New Jersey that hasn’t already been said about Hell? The drive up to NJ from Arlington is estimated on Google Maps to take about 3 hrs and 45 mins. My land speed record came about back in June when I made the trip in 3 hours flat. But, this is Labor Day Weekend! Which means anyone who has a car decides to place it on I-95.

The drive took over 4 and a half. Thanks in much part to State governments that have continued to use the same toll system that was in place when the concept of roads was first developed. The worst part of the trip came at the Delaware Memorial Bridge. After considering Delaware’s size and total insignificance, the government decided to create the country’s best bottleneck. How can Joe Biden be the Vice-President if that backyard of a state he represents cannot be traversed within 15 minutes? This may be the issue that decides the election for me.

We arrived Friday night and relaxed by watching Predator on cable. A little trivia here, Predator may be the only movie that features two former Governors (Arnold and “the Body”). If this anomaly has occurred before, then it is definitely the only Sci-Fi, Invisible, Thermal Seeing, Dreadlocked Alien flick that features two former Governors.

On Saturday, we had plans to drink and go to Atlantic City. The weather held up and it turned out to be a great day. The day consisted of: drinking, Scrabble, bacon cheeseburger, Battleship, cheating, contemplation of Beer Ball, drinking, napping, Atlantic City, Cash for Gold, Bally’s, Johnny Rocket’s, Beach Bar, Gambling, Lori wins more $, Jersey Rats, Drinking, Sleeping. All in all, a good day.

Sunday was beach day. On a related note, we found out that morning that the Ocean City beach was one of 7 lucky beaches that closed due to MEDICAL WASTE! In the world of NJ Beaches, this is a most prestigious honor. Tiny beaches on ponds in the middle of NJ dream of growing up one day to be covered in syringes, diapers, loud Jersey girls and Juice Heads.

The waste warning was dropped Sunday and we headed to the beach. We need to smuggle rum onto the beach because Ocean City is a dry town. While this seems crappy, it is actually a blessing in disguise. No alcohol = No Jersey Girls and Guidos…which makes for a great day at the beach. In Ocean City, people don’t have “blow-outs” or tribal tattoos. These people actually HAVE chest hair and sunglasses that block sunlight. Amazing. This dry town plays a major part in my positive experiences in New Jersey.

The water was a perfect temperature and the waves were big. With the exception of cringing each time something grazed my feet, the ocean was great. The way I see it, the medical waste just gives the NJ beaches character.

As much as I like to think of Jersey as the armpit of the East coast, I have to admit it holds a special, medically wasteful spot in my heart.

Mount Vernon - Opponents Beware

Washington's personal pig, he only enjoys the finest mud holes

Checked out George Washington's crib this past weekend with Lori, Jay and Nicole. The man on the dollar bill had a nice place. To give you an idea of Washington's accomplishments, please view the video here.

That video basically summarizes the lesser known backgrounds of our nation's first President.

Either way, Mt. Vernon is worth a look.


More pictures at Picasa

Beach?

Somehow, someway both of the images above represent a "beach." Apparently in Maine, a beach is a combination of freezing cold water, rocks, barnacles, fog, seaweed and young mothers with tattoos.

This is slightly different from what I believe the word "beach" embodies.

Fool me once...

Edwards takes his wife to Wendy's, but his lady on the side prefers Arby's

I try not to blog about politics, I have my views and I enjoy discussing them with family and select friends. I do not attempt to bring them to a larger audience simply because of my lack of knowledge/information/bias. I don't know all the facts, if I did, I would be much more outspoken.

But, this story is just another reason I get so pissed off with politicians.

In late summer of 2007, I picked up a copy of Esquire, very metro, to read while I languished in my little hell of airports. The cover story featured John Edwards, who at that point, was in the running for the Democratic nomination.

While I know for a fact that I would not vote for Edwards, the article definitely helped his cause. I came out of the article with an appreciation for the man that has since waned.

What really bothers me is the lying, not the cheating. Even though Clinton was a "mimbo," he was still a decent President, in my opinion. I am just tired of candidates taking a "holier than thou" stance, attempting to make us believe that they are pious and worthy.

Edwards blocked the release of this story for some time. In the public, he denied the claims to save face. How inflated are the egos of some politicians? Not only did this idiot have to worry about his wife finding out about this affair, but the entire nation as well.

I am just praying for some truth between Obama and McCain.

Live From Maine!

I finally hit 1000 views! I can't believe all three of you logged on to my site from that many different comps.

My sister and I hopped a quick 1-hour flight from Baltimore to Portland, ME. As usual, the airports were full of surly airline representatives and could not find a way to seat anyone. Once we arrived in Portland, we found the weather to be pleasant and cold.


We stopped for dinner at Moody's dinner, great place for onion rings and then I grabbed a twelve of the state's finest...Geary's Summer Ale.




I will post some images sooner or later. I am pretty sure there are some pirates (homeless people) on the small island across from our cottage. I will make sure to investigate.

Currently watching the Olympics...one of the female swimmers briefly lived in Webster (but had the good sense to leave), she is swimming in the relay with that 50 year old swim mom.

She just won the silver, coincidentally the same color as her hair.

Ok, more from VacationLand later.